What to do when your ex is giving you mixed signals? Man, mixed signals from an ex-girlfriend are probably one of the worst things that can happen to a guy after a breakup, it doesn’t even matter if you want her back, or want to move on, the bottom line is that an ex’s mixed signals brings back all the feelings that you have for her and as a result, it makes getting over the breakup so much more difficult, so, let’s talk about what to do when this happens.

Hey guys, welcome back to the Breakup Corner, I’m Andi Galster, and here I teach men how to get over their ex-girlfriend. But, oh well, what are you supposed to do if your ex-girlfriend often reaches out to you, but then when she reaches out to you, it seems like things are going nowhere? What if on one side you get the impression that she may have regrets about the breakup, but on the other hand, you can’t really figure out what she really wants? Should you tell her how you feel? Should you ask her out on a date? Or should you tell her to no longer message you? Well, the way that I see it, mixed signals from an ex-girlfriend are generally speaking almost always a sign that you should continue to move on and that you shouldn’t give your attention to your ex-girlfriend. 

When an ex-girlfriend gives you mixed signals, it simply makes it much harder for you to move on, and this kind of confusion when you feel like the relationship may still have a chance just closes you off from other potential relationships, but more importantly, it also may hold you back from reaching your maximum potential for personal growth.

Because after a breakup as a man, you are likely extremely devastated and unlike a woman, you will not have it as easy after the breakup. If you don’t work on yourself to look as attractive as you did before the breakup, or to look even more attractive than before, then your chances of getting a new girlfriend in the future will be much lower. To your ex-girlfriend, it’s convenient to give you mixed signals because she knows that it will make it more likely that you will still be available to date in the future. On the other hand, she probably has 10 guys who are lined up to date her and she always has someone to choose from. This is why mixed signals from an ex-girlfriend should NEVER be accepted.

Now, does that mean that your ex-girlfriend is always intentionally giving you mixed signals? No, of course not. Sometimes, she may genuinely regret the breakup, she misses you and she will talk to you, but she won’t make the final move to try and go out with you again. Women hate risk, and almost no ex-girlfriend will try to get back with you aggressively. Instead, an ex will expect you to get the hint and try to rekindle the relationship.

But if an ex-girlfriend doesn’t give you mixed signals, it means that she will have given you SOME signals that she wants to talk to you again, and then you would try to make a move on her, such as asking to meet up with her, going on dates again, etc… And if your ex-girlfriend doesn’t agree to this, or the way that you meet up never becomes anything more than a semi-platonic date, then you should consider this as your ex-girlfriend sending you mixed signals. Either she wants to be with you again, or you have to make a clear cut and move on with your life. 

And I know that this sounds easier than it’s done. When you’re getting mixed signals, you probably are thinking that some signals are better than none. I completely understand that it’s very easy to get your hopes up when your ex-girlfriend shows you in some ways that she’s interested in you again, but the reality is that real attraction and interest from a woman is generally fairly direct, or very obvious. When a woman really wants you, she will make it extremely easy for you to take her out on a date, to seduce her, and so on. 

Believe me, I have had reconnected with two ex-girlfriends of mine in the past, and when an ex-girlfriend misses you, she will reach out to you and will be very positive about the idea of meeting up, and generally speaking, when you meet up with an ex-girlfriend, the odds of being physical in some way should be quite high. If it seems as if your ex-girlfriend is almost resisting to get back together, even though it is her who seems to be the one who misses you, then you should see this as a big red flag and there is something fishy going on. 

So, what are you supposed to do if you are getting clear mixed signals and your attempts to go on a date, or to become more intimate with her are going nowhere? Well, I would suggest that if you already had some semi-intimate date but you can’t seem to break through her defenses, then I would simply be honest with her and tell her how you feel. You don’t know what she wants and if she actually wants to get back together. And if she actually wants to get back together, she would appreciate your honesty, and at the very least, she would tell you openly how she feels, whether she needs more time to trust you again, whether she is scared about getting back together, and so on.

But if you haven’t even gotten to that stage and you’re still somewhere in the, in quotes, “talking stage”, where you just hear from her occasionally, or she never commits to a date with you, then I quite frankly wouldn’t even confront her or talk about it, but rather, withdraw your attention from her. With that, I mean that you shouldn’t respond to her any longer unless absolutely necessary. You shouldn’t be rude. No need to ghost your ex-girlfriend, but the best idea in such a situation is to be as passive as possible, don’t keep your conversations long. And she should figure out very quickly that you realized that the entire situation wasn’t going anywhere and then move on with your life. I know it is hard to make such a decision, especially because you will probably have doubts, wondering “what if”, what if you would have done this, or that, or been more patient, and so on. But as I said, either she wants you, or she doesn’t really want you.

I want you to be happy, to become the guy that you were before the breakup. I want you to seem confident, attractive, strong, and adventurous. I want you to lead, have many friends, be a hard worker, and have a lot of energy, goals and dreams for your life. And if your ex-girlfriend isn’t adding to these, but rather is holding you back from becoming that man, then it’s time for you to move on and let her go. Trust me, this will be the right decision in the long-run, even if it feels extremely scary to do so because of her mixed signals. But I know you can make that tough call, and in the near future, you will thank yourself for making the right decision, because you’ll finally be 100% open to dating other women, or even just focusing on your life. And that means in the near future, you are going to live a much happier life.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for you this time.