Is It Normal To Obsess Over A Crush? Or Can You Get The Girl More Easily?
No, it’s not. Or at least, as you get older, it isn’t. But when I was younger, I always used to obsess over the girls that I liked. And that always ended in disasters.
Putting a girl on a pedestal never works.
Believe me, I’ve been there. Girls don’t want to be with a guy who’s obsessed with them. Is that similar to what you’re doing? Putting her on a pedestal? Thinking that she’s the greatest girl that you’ve ever met?
Are you constantly thinking about her, unable to focus on anything else? Do you “dream” about a great future together, or when she’s going to message you again? Do you check your or her social media profile very often, for signs that she’s interested in you? Do you want to talk to her non-stop?
I know exactly how you feel. Everybody has been there at once in their life. I used to be that guy who would fall head over heels for a girl and then spend weeks, even months, obsessing over her.
I was always falling way too fast and too easily for girls. And every message from her was treated like a special event. I’d get my hopes up, but at the same time, because I would be so much into the girls, I was often also filled with a lot of overthinking and dating anxiety. And of course, because I was so “hyper” in my excitement for those girls, they didn’t want to be with me. The more interest that you show for a girl, the less she wants to be with you.
But what can you do when you have a crush on a girl? It’s normal to have a crush on someone. And especially if you’re young or inexperienced, it’s normal to think that she’s the greatest woman on the planet. She probably is one of the greatest girls you’ve ever met and now you’re hoping to that she’ll be your girlfriend.
Well, let me tell you how I became confident with girls, how I stopped obsessing over women, and how to get the girl you like to like you back.
Alpha Male Abundance: How To Stop Obsessing About A Girl
Obsessing over a crush isn’t 100% normal. It’s just that we guys have normalized it. Sure, it’s normal to really like a girl, but most of the time, it’s a sign of insecurity, inexperience, and just not having enough options with girls.
If you’re obsessing over a girl that you just met, or if you constantly think about a girl that you barely know, it’s as if you’re seeing her as the perfect woman. But of course, everybody’s human. Everybody has flaws. Even the most gorgeous woman could actually be really annoying. Or at least, she’s not as perfect as you believe her to be.
It’s crucial to understand this when you want to become attractive to women. To win a girl’s heart, she needs to see that you don’t think she’s the only girl that you could date. And believe me, I never thought about dating this way when I was younger — even up to my late 20s.
I grew up without strong male role models. My father was passive, and I never learned how to assert myself or embrace my masculinity. I was never the confident guy who could easily attract girls, and I also never felt like I was good enough for the girls that I wanted. Or at least, I always felt as if I was the one who was looking to gain something from them. I never saw myself as the one who gives.
But to win a girl’s heart, you have to be a giver, not a taker. Not in the simp way, of course.
I didn’t understand this, and because of this, girls never truly wanted me. Even my girlfriends always felt as if something was missing. My relationships didn’t last long. But then I had one very serious relationship at 27. My first deep love. And this girl utterly broke my heart. When that happened, I decided that I wanted to be in control of my love life.
I read every scientific paper and book about attraction and relationships that I could find on the internet. I really dug as deeply as possible to understand what makes a man confident and attractive to a woman.
And with those insights, I began to experiment. I began to meet more girls. I began to work out, look more attractive, improved my career, and just in general, I became the type of man who was extremely well-developed.
The results were astounding. Within a year, I went from being invisible to women, and always having an unrequited love, to so many girls chasing me all the time. Sure, I still had crushes on girls occasionally, but I no longer felt like I was in the chasing position. Instead, I finally understood how to make girls chase me. Girls had crushes on me!
So, I want to share some of my insights about why a man should never obsess over a girl and how to get your crush to fall in love with you easily:
4 Principles That Explain Why You Shouldn’t Obsess Over A Girl If You Want Her To Like you
Obsession Stems From Scarcity Mentality
When you obsess over a crush, you’re operating from a place of scarcity. You’re treating this one girl as if she’s the only chance you’ll ever have at love or happiness. This mentality is not only unattractive, but it’s also just not true. Guys have it harder to get girls to like them, but with a little bit of work on yourself, and learning how to talk to girls, many women will want to be with you.
Think about it: There are billions of women in the world, and many are a great match for you. By fixating on just one girl, you’re closing yourself off to countless women who are instantly attracted to you. This scarcity mindset doesn’t just affect your love life — it can seep into other areas too, making you feel like you’re always lacking or missing out.
Moreover, obsessing over a girl often leads to idealization. You start to see her as perfect, ignoring her flaws and creating an unrealistic image in your mind. This makes it even harder to approach her and feel confident around her, but it can also often lead to disappointments. It’s okay to have a crush on a girl, to really be into her, to always have a fast-beating heart when you run into her somewhere, but in the end, a confident alpha male uses these emotions stoically. He finds the confidence to engage with that girl without a scarcity mindset, and she will very quickly becoe attracted to him.
Obsession Prevents You From Being A High Value Man Via Masculine Development
When you’re constantly thinking about your crush, you’re not focusing on improving yourself. You’re more living in a fantasy world than you’re living in reality. The most straightforward truth is that if you are attractive as a man, because you worked hard on yourself, your crush is going to want to be with you automatically.
So obsession with a girl is usually a major roadblock to your personal growth and the development of your masculine energy, so that you become the high value man that your crush wants to date.
True female attraction comes from being a man with goals, passions, and a fulfilling life. If you obsess over her, you can’t really become the confident guy who is extremely interesting to her.
Think about how much time and mental energy you’re dedicating to thoughts of your crush. Now imagine how you could channel all of this into pursuing your goals, or setting new goals, developing new skills, or working out to become a little bit more muscular so she finds you attractive the moment she lies eyes on you.
The difference could be transformative. So when you are daydreaming about your crush, other men are busy building businesses, bulking up to their dream physique, mastering new hobbies, and in generally, becoming the kind of high-value man who’s pursued by beautiful girls.
Masculinity is about taking action, facing challenges, and continuously striving to improve yourself. It’s about having the confidence to pursue your ambitions and the resilience to bounce back from setbacks. You have to pursue the girl that you want in such a way, that she feels that being with you would be fun, exciting, and most importantly, she’s in for a wild ride if she dates you. The trick is to focus on yourself and find the right balance to learn about attraction principles at the same time. Then you’ll reap the rewards for both outcomes at the same time.
Obsessing Over A Girl Always Leads to Needy Behavior And Rejection
When you obsess over your crush, or even just think about her way too often, you will almost always become needy and clingy. And this needy behavior turns girls off. Maybe you’re texting her when she’s currently not in the mood. Maybe you want to hear from her too often, or maybe you want to spend time with her even though you just saw her two days ago at a party with some of your friends.
This neediness, even though it seems small to you, is a major turn off for most girls. Girls want to wonder about guys. They want to be the one to chase a guy. Women are never into men who chase them because that’s what almost every man does. A woman wants to be with a man who’s an actual challenge. Someone who’s even worthy of “conquering“. If you are too needy with a girl, even if she may have been a little bit attracted to you already, it will quickly make her lose attraction for you. Girls can feel it when you are too obsessed with them.
When you overanalyze her every word and action, looking for signs that she might be interested, you just act differently. A little bit insecure. You say too much. Or the wrong thing. Meanwhile, the confident alpha male who is pretty stoic, has chill, short conversations with her, that just are comfortable to a girl. That’s the type of conversation that girls remember. That’s the type of guy that girls want to be with.
It’s important to remember that girls want validation from men. Every girl wants to feel pretty. But men don’t give that validation by showering a girl with affection and attention non-stop. At least, that’s not what a man should do before he’s actually in a relationship with a girl. The right mix is important for a girl to think about you, wonder about what you’re up to, why you’re not chasing so much like other guys are, and so on. You have to develop a mindset where your conversations with your crush become filled with less pressure, more filled with short, bite-sized fun. That’s when your crush will never reject you, and most likely, she will chase you and “initiate” to be your girlfriend.
Women Come And Go — You Have Many Opportunities To Meet Great Women
One thing every man — and even women — have to learn, is that not every relationship is meant to work out. And very often, we meet a girl and we won’t ever date her. Maybe we got close, but for some reason, things didn’t work out. Sometimes, that is because of beta male behavior, male insecurities, or other reasons that have to do with your own behavior. But at other times, there simply were random reasons why things weren’t meant to be.
It’s important to understand that no matter how amazing your crush seems, she’s not the only incredible woman out there. Lie goes on, and very often, you can meet multiple great women in a very short timespan. Most of the time, guys focus on the one girl, and they do it far too long. This is especially true after breakups.
It’s understandable because as a man, it is much more difficult to get women to be attracted to you than it is the reverse, but you have to learn to get over girls. Alpha males never chase girls, and they never stay stuck if things didn’t work out. Whether that’s being stuck in the friendzone, the girl not having any interest at all and not even talking to you, or when she breaks up with you. Alpha males go on with life, and they often find another amazing girl relatively quickly.
This type of behavior is at the core of an alpha male abundance mindset. When you awaken to the fact that you can get a girlfriend easier than you initially thought, you will become so much more attractive to girls, because your entire aura becomes so much more impressive to women.
Women are attracted to resilient men. And there’s nothing more resilient than to keep going when a girl wasn’t attracted to you and rejected you. If you want your crush to be with you, you have to give off the vibe that you are not desperate to be with her. And for that, you simply have to work on your mindset, and cultivate masculine strength.
Ultimately, the goal isn’t to win over one particular woman. It’s to become a high value man who attracts gorgeous women simply by living his life.
Alpha Male Mentality — A Mindset Guide On How To Stop Obsessing Over Girls
I used to be that guy who would obsess over girls and rarely have them reciprocate. Even the girls who wanted me weren’t even nearly as attracted to me as I was to them.
Being the kind of guy who puts girls on a pedestal sucks! There’s a better way to date girls. You can be attracted to girls, and really want them, but not think about them non-stop. At least, you won’t think about them in needy or anxious ways. Instead, you’ll just enjoy the ride and have a great time, because the girl that you desire is gradually falling more and more in love with you.
Back in the day, this seemed impossible to me. I was always the odd one out, while alpha males effortlessly attracted the girls that I had a crush on. But with years of study and real-world application, I learned that every man can overcome his obsessive thought patterns and become the man who makes women think about him.
If you are anything like me, you probably feel overwhelmed with dating. You don’t know how to get girls to like you. You wish someone would explain all of it in simple ways, with methods and mindset shifts that are easy to learn and apply. Maybe the gap between where you are and where you want to be seems wide.
But this is exactly why I wrote my book “Book Title,“ to help men who feel clueless with girls, to become unbelievably attractive.
In This Dating Book For Men, I share:
- How to develop unshakeable masculine confidence that attracts women naturally without even approaching them
- How to overcome obsessive thoughts and how to stop putting women on a pedestal by developing an alpha male mindset
- The key traits of masculinity that women find irresistible
- How to get many girls to like you so you obsess less over one specific girl — increasing your chances to get the girl
- Why trying too hard actually pushes women away, and how to effortlessly attract them instead
- Why obsessing over one girl doesn’t work and how to develop an alpha male abundance mentality
- The psychological principles that make women notice a man and how to leverage these confidence principles
- The secrets to effective communication that will make girls eager to chase you and go on dates with you
- The art of creating sexual tension and chemistry that makes women crave your attention
- The importance of having a strong purpose as a man beyond dating and how it naturally attracts women
- How to build that fulfilling and purposeful life that attracts beautiful women practically on autopilot
- Strategies for maintaining a healthy, passionate relationship once you’ve found the right woman
Imagine waking up every day feeling in control of your dating life, never having to obsess over your crush because you know that she wants you. No more wondering if she likes you. No more wondering how to get her to like you. You won’t have to think about these questions, because you will be so attractive, that it’s obvious that she will be into you.
When you’re confident in your masculinity and act like an alpha male who’s self-assured, you attract your dream girl without even trying. You’ll be the man who other guys want to be. Women will naturally gravitate towards.
This isn’t just about becoming more attractive — it’s about transforming your entire approach to life and relationships. You’ll learn how to stop putting women on a pedestal and start seeing yourself as the most valuable man a woman could date.
I’ll help you live your best life and develop confidence, so that girls will be drawn to your irresistible masculine aura. Once you become a high value man who has become attractive throughout all areas of his life, from your career, hobbies, personal principles, to your friendships — that’s when women finally begin to have a crush on you! That’s how you no longer have to obsess over your crush! Instead, you’ll be the one that makes women crave to be with you!
If you want to be the man that beautiful women can’t resist, get your copy of “Book Title” today and discover how to make your crush fall in love with without trying hard. And most importantly, no more going crazy over whether she likes you! That’s the effect of a highly attractive alpha male.
