Why you can’t let go of your ex girlfriend and how to solve the problem. Are you trying your best to deal with the breakup after your ex-girlfriend broke up with you, but even after several months, it’s like you’re still stuck nearly in the exact same place? It probably feels impossible for you to stop loving your ex-girlfriend and finally move on with your life, so let’s talk about some ideas for leaving your relationship in the past and moving on.

Hey guys, welcome back to the Breakup Corner, I’m Andi Galster, and here I teach men how to move on from their ex-girlfriends. So, maybe you can’t let go of your ex-girlfriend. No matter what, things don’t seem to get better. But why is that? Why is it that we can’t get over an ex-girlfriend? Why is it so common that many guys can’t move on from women, and why is it always such a big struggle for men to heal after breakups? Well, I think 90% of the time, the reason why you cannot let go of an ex is because you don’t want the relationship to end, or rather, you didn’t expect for it to end. Now, that sounds obvious, doesn’t it? But, there’s some important nugget of information in that statement.

When you miss an ex-girlfriend and can’t seem to let her go, almost always, it’s you who no longer had the control or decision-making power over staying in the relationship. Whether you initially wanted to break up but then changed your mind, but then she wanted to break up with you. Or whether she broke up with you, maybe unexpectedly, in both cases, it was her who ultimately decided that the relationship is over. And in both cases, you had hopes that the relationship would continue. 

And as soon as she left you, you were automatically stuck in an endless cycle of trying to resolve that problem but there’s no way to do so. She’s gone and you can’t get her to reconsider. She effectively rejected you or the entire relationship with you. That’s a harsh reality check. It really hurts to find out that a woman doesn’t want to be with you. After all, what does that say about you?

I’m sure you think of yourself as the best boyfriend any woman could imagine. Or at least, that’s how you used to see yourself. Of course, there’s never the best, but that’s how you feel about yourself. You think you are a great guy, and I’m sure you are in fact a great guy. So when your ex no longer wanted to be with you, it feels as if none of that is true. 

Humans are generally quite self-serving. We’re very self-centric, and always expect everything to work in our favor and we want our interests to be represented by others. But of course, that rarely happens. And when we don’t get our self-serving ways, we feel rejected. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being self-centered and wanting to be loved by the woman we love — but just like with everyday life, we need to learn and accept that we can’t always control everything that happens to us, and we certainly can’t control other people. They may not always agree with our own self-perception, that we are a great person.

When an ex-girlfriend doesn’t want to be with you any longer, it evokes a similar feeling. It makes us feel powerless and makes us realize that others can hold power over us. So when your ex-girlfriend left you, it’s probably been a moment in your life where you felt extremely powerless. That powerlessness is what makes us cling to an ex-girlfriend. When we were with her, we felt powerful and as if we could achieve anything. And probably for good reason.

Most guys wish to be with a woman who supports him and is his crutch when he’s struggling. There’s nothing better than a girlfriend who lifts her boyfriend up and makes him even stronger. Maybe this is what your ex-girlfriend was like, and no longer having that in your life really is painful. But unfortunately, you have to accept that you now have to be your own provider of strength. You have to feel powerful all by yourself. And in fact, I’m sure, you’ve felt extremely powerful in the past. This is why your ex-girlfriend fell in love with you in the first place. She saw something inside of you, that already existed before you knew her.

So that means that you already have what it takes to become happy again, to let go of your ex-girlfriend, and to stand on your own feet. So if you want to let go of your ex-girlfriend, you have to make peace with that very brief moment in time, when your ex-girlfriend didn’t want you. During that time, you had no control of anything that you wanted emotionally. But now, I’m sure it’s been at least a few weeks since the breakup. Maybe it’s been months. Or maybe even a year. 

That short moment is already over. You are the one who can take control of his life again. You can bring back the feelings of power back into your life. So you have to stop living in that moment when your ex didn’t want you. You get to create your own moment now.

So become the one who determines his outcomes in life. Go and socialize and make new friends. Work on a new business idea or try to get to the next stage in your career life. Attend your religious gatherings or volunteer in your community and find purpose for your life. Go to a gym, or any other type of sport, and get in top shape. Learn to feel good about yourself, by taking action and being the living reminder that you are still a powerful, strong, and attractive man.

Your ex-girlfriend didn’t want to be with you any longer, but there will be another woman in the future who will want to dedicate herself to you. For much longer, hopefully forever, in ways that your ex-girlfriend maybe never did. And the reason why there is a woman out there who will love you that way, is because you’re still a great guy to date. Besides, you have learned from your mistakes, so now you have the power to design an even better life and relationship.

But you have to be willing to draw that power out of you. So if you want to let go, don’t mourn the relationship and don’t feel depressed because your ex-girlfriend was the one who decided to end the relationship. Don’t give her that power over you. The relationship is over now, and you get to be your own man again. So live strong, and don’t give up.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for you this time.