Closing the chapter on your ex girlfriend — how to properly let go of her and never look back. For most men, letting go of an ex-girlfriend is a really long struggle that often lasts for years. At first, it takes a long time to even accept that the relationship is over, and even when you have accepted that she is gone, you may still miss her a lot and think about her very often.

And sometimes that relationship with your ex-girlfriend can haunt you for a VERY long time. Especially if the relationship was very special, then it’s extremely hard to properly let go. Somehow, she just won’t completely stay out of your mind and you still have to think about her in the most random moments, when you thought that you finally were finally getting over her. So, let’s talk about how to properly close the chapter on an ex-girlfriend and move on with your life.

Hey guys, welcome back to the Breakup Corner, I’m Andi Galster, and here I teach men how to get over their ex-girlfriend. So, letting go of an ex-girlfriend is never easy for a man. I mean, just strictly speaking, the average man probably doesn’t have that many dating opportunities with women. Depending on how attractive, wealthy, and charismatic you are, your average success with women may vary but dating is never easy. 

Even for me as someone who’s studied relationships science a lot. I’m obviously extremely well-educated on all subjects related to dating, relationships, breakups and attraction. I’m financially very stable, work out, I’m well-spoken and well-traveled, and I generally have my life in order. Yet there are times of my life where I just didn’t date any women. Either by choice, or because life in general was hard and I had other things to take care of. 

But of course, if you would be a woman, honestly, you could be broke, have a lot of problems in life, and at the very least, lots of men will still try to make you their girlfriend. So of course, as a man, you won’t have as many opportunities to be in relationships. As a woman, it is much easier to forget an ex-boyfriend or at the very least, move on to another man that is perceived as a better partner. And so as a man, it is a lot more tempting to think back to an ex-girlfriend, most likely when you’re feeling vulnerable, alone, stuck in life, not making enough money, when you got rejected by another woman, and so on. And of course, all these problems make you miss the comfortable times with her. Both men and women will look back to their exes when they aren’t satisfied with their lives and especially their love lives. And this is of course one of the big reasons why men have been shown to miss their ex-girlfriends more than women, and see fewer problems in their female partners than women do.

So men have a tendency to not properly close the chapter on their ex-girlfriends. Now, I don’t want to argue that women are any better in this regard… It’s more like they are different. Women will come back to an ex-boyfriend when it’s convenient for them. But the difference is that women are doing this from a far more practical approach than men. When a man still misses his ex-girlfriend and wants to talk to her, it’s more about the emotional connection, rather than a need such as financial stability. As a man, we are just much more willing to keep all doors open for our ex-girlfriend. We don’t want to close that door because to us, every relationship, no matter how long or short it may have lasted, it’s still special. Things that do not come easy are always appreciated more in life. As a man, relationships aren’t easy to come by so we really love the women that we date.

This is why it’s so crucial as a man after a breakup to fully pull the plug on the relationship. To fully accept that it is over, and even though bridges may not have been burned and it’s theoretically possible to reconnect in the future, you should live your life for yourself, pursue new goals in life, change your direction, personal goals, hopes and dreams, and go forward without the thought of your ex-girlfriend. The goal after a breakup should almost be to become such a different man that dating your ex-girlfriend no longer makes sense or at the very least, you have no real interest in it. And that’s because you have drifted so far apart, and you’ve changed so much as a man, that you don’t even know your ex-girlfriend anymore. Now, she is just someone from the past, who may have been a great girlfriend back in the day, and perhaps she’s still a great woman now, but it probably would be better to date another woman who can teach you new things about yourself.

If I look at my own relationships from the past, learning to properly close the chapter on my exes was something that I always struggled with — until the point of my life when I became fully self-reliant, and I no longer needed a specific woman in my life. Nowadays, finding a great girlfriend is no longer a challenge, and dating an attractive woman has turned into a choice, rather than me being the one who needs to chase women. As a result, I also no longer reminisce about old relationships, no matter how good it may have been, or how much a specific woman has meant to me.

Most of the time, the thing that makes it difficult for us to close the chapter on an ex-girlfriend has to do with neediness, rather than actually profoundly missing her. The way I see breakups from the male perspective, every man should follow one core principle when it comes to moving on from an ex-girlfriend: You live your life and never look back. Looking back towards the good times with an ex-girlfriend rarely serves any purpose. Often, the only purpose why we do this is because we don’t feel comfortable in our current life situation, and so we want to get back to a time when things felt easier. 

But you have to understand that as a man, life will not always be comfortable. Whether you are struggling in life in general, or not, you will have to fight your way out of whatever hardship you will be faced with. And no woman is going to save you from any of the problems. If you were a woman, when things get rough, you’d probably get the sympathy of a dozen men. That will never happen for you from women.

So the best thing to do is to focus on a strong foundation of self-reliance. Move forward to become more stable, more confident, more reliable, more respected, and so on. Don’t adopt a mindset, where when you feel like you are not balanced, not stable, not secure, you’ll want to reminisce about the past and better days with an ex-girlfriend. Your ex is not the way how you should find that comfort that you’re seeking. You have to fight and work hard for it.

Instead, you have to properly close the chapter with an ex-girlfriend. You have to make a strong move to get going. This determination acts like a symbol, which says: “From now on, I am my own man again. Whether I’m single or not, I will live a happy life, build new friendships, hobbies, establish a better career, become a financial powerhouse, and more.”

It’s time to write the next story, and just like you usually wouldn’t re-read the last chapter in the middle of a book, you shouldn’t do the same thing with your ex-girlfriend. Close the chapter, commit to being a self-reliant man, and make a plan for how you will work hard and kick ass to build an amazing new life. 

And that doesn’t even have to relate to dating at all. As I mentioned before, we tend to think about our exes when things aren’t going well. Especially when we’re not satisfied with the women that we’re dating, or, if of course, they just aren’t interested in us. And then, if you don’t have the other pillars of your life built up to rely on, then you’ll miss your ex-girlfriend even more. So that’s why there’s all the more reason to focus on creating something new… Maybe even not to be focused on dating at all for some time, but instead, focus on actually enjoying that hard grind and the hard work, where you re-build yourself and do something new with your life. 

A lot of guys make the mistake that not only do they miss their ex-girlfriend too much, think too much about her and make their life all about her… But on top of that, they treat the act of self-reliance, and starting something new, as if it’s something purely painful and unrewarding. But of course, that’s not true. If you pick out new life goals that really excite you, then you might be extremely excited to grind and get things done, and even work for hours into the night to reach your new ambitions.

Of course, the new things that you spend time on after a breakup, shouldn’t just be random things that you pick so that you can essentially tick off a checklist, to basically say “Okay, I’m doing something now to keep myself busy”… Nope, of course, the things you keep yourself busy should be part of a grand new vision… If you’ve ever worked on something, like a big project, or a business idea, and you never doubted for a single second what you were doing, then you know what kind of excitement and passion I’m talking about. You should be excited to do new things in life. You should be excited to take on a new challenge, and to spend a lot of time on crafting a new identity. So don’t just choose to do things that you’ll give up easily because you don’t actually care about them.

Your new plan in life should genuinely give you goosebumps. Yes, it should scare you. It shouldn’t be easy. It should at times even feel like it’s too hard to accomplish. All of that is fine, if at the same time, it really gets your blood flowing. If it gets your heart pumping, and makes you forget that you had a breakup, then that’s what you should pursue. You can only close the last chapter, if you write an exciting new one.

So when you are brainstorming of how you want to design your new life, choose wisely, and pick ideas that may be hard at times, but at the same time, pursuing those goals will be extremely rewarding. And in the future, you’ll be so enthralled by them, that you are slowly able to let go because you’re creating a new story that may not yet be at its climax, but you can see that it’s going in the right direction, and you can’t wait to see what will happen next.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for you this time.