How to get over a sudden breakup with your ex gf? Geez, unexpected breakups with an ex-girlfriend are insanely tough because you didn’t see it coming at all, but your ex probably has been thinking of breaking up with you for some time, so the moment it hits you, it really hits you hard. Not only were you not prepared for it, but your ex is already halfway moved on by that point. So, let’s talk about how to get over this awful experience.

Hey guys, welcome back to the Breakup Corner, I’m Andi Galster, and here I teach men how to move on from their ex-girlfriend. So guys, if you are reading this post, then I’m sure you are going through a ton of anxiety right now. There’s no way you saw the breakup coming and now you are probably freaking out, and you have no idea what the heck you’re supposed to do because you were ripped out of your normal life with your girlfriend as if it was nothing. You weren’t ready for it at all, maybe you were happy, maybe there weren’t even any obvious problems but your ex-girlfriend just wasn’t attracted to you any longer. Whatever the case was of what happened, or why she broke up with you, it’s never easy to suddenly be single practically overnight with maybe not even any warning signs.

Now, I called this post how to get over a sudden breakup, but I want to talk more about how you’re supposed to behave after an unexpected breakup, rather than how to get over it. The biggest mistake that I see guys make when they are dumped practically out of the blue, is that they try to fight the breakup.

Obviously, every man will be anxious, heartbroken, sad and lonely after a breakup, but not every man will try to fight the breakup. After a breakup you can either accept that the relationship is over and accept the pain of the breakup, and work through it, or, the other way to respond to a breakup is to not accept that your ex-girlfriend no longer wants to be with you, and try to recreate the relationship, beg with your ex-girlfriend, message her occasionally, keep looking at old pictures of yours and so on. When you go down that path, you’re not really accepting the pain of the breakup and trying to work through it and come to terms with it, but instead, you will replay the pain of losing your ex-girlfriend over, and over, and over again.

This is the reason why some men are able to move on with relative ease and others can’t. Some ruminate endlessly but in unproductive ways, others really try to learn from what happened. For those men who do it right, even if they may be missing their ex-girlfriend like crazy, had a multi-year-long relationship, and even if a man is very anxiously attached, he’d be able to move on eventually if he’d take the time to properly process the breakup and work through his emotions. Instead of fighting the breakup and struggling with acceptance, he tries to do the best he can to move forward.

That’s not to say that it wouldn’t be easy for that man to work through all these painful feelings, but eventually, he’d come out on the other side of breakup pain and will have at the very least found the motivation to move forward with his life.

He’d surely still struggle with the occasional moments of missing his ex-girlfriend, and at times he’d feel lonely, nostalgic, and wish that he could be with her again, but this would only happen sporadically, naturally, because something reminds him about his ex-girlfriend, perhaps a memory, a song, or he simply had a bad week and in his moments of vulnerability, he’d miss his ex-girlfriend a little bit.

So if you’ve been hit by an unexpected breakup and your ex-girlfriend practically has disappeared from your life without any notice, then the best advice that I can give you is to not fight the breakup. There is no good advice to get over the relationship easily right now. If I’d assume the hypothetical scenario that you got broken up yesterday by your ex-girlfriend, then nothing I would say right now would help you to quickly get over that breakup. You will certainly be in pain for weeks, months, or maybe even an entire year depending on how long and profound your relationship was.

There certainly are things you could do, which I talk about all the time in my YouTube videos, such as working on creating a new identity for yourself, figuring out what you’d like to do with your life from now on, hitting the gym to relieve some of the anxiety, and so on. All of these ideas are great things to focus on and will help you, especially in the long-run, but if the breakup happened out of nowhere, then a lot of pain in the beginning will be inevitable.

This is why the most important thing that you can do after such a breakup is to resist the urge to fight the breakup. It’s so tempting to try to find ways to get the relationship back, if even just through your memories, but it’s essential that you accept that your ex-girlfriend has made her choice. And she probably made this choice a long time ago. Weeks ago. Her first doubts might have come up months ago if you were in a long-term relationship. Your girlfriend has likely already moved on halfway at this point.

This is a painful realization! And especially if it’s one of the first times that this is happening to you, then you probably can’t possibly imagine how an ex-girlfriend could act so cruel. I understand that you are going through a lot of pain, feelings of self-doubt and possibly betrayal. And yet, despite all of it, you probably still miss your ex-girlfriend and want to be back together with her again. But the relationship is gone and the best thing that you can do for yourself is to accept this. The sooner that you come to terms with it, the sooner you can start doing what your ex-girlfriend has done quite a while ago: Letting go.

The biggest mistake that most men make after a breakup is to obsessively focus on their ex-girlfriend, which is understandable. If you lost the most important person in your life, naturally, you’d be hyper-focused on getting back what you lost. And the more sudden or unexpected the breakup was for you, the harder you will obsess over her. Or in other words, the more you are going to fight the breakup and try to hold on to your ex-girlfriend and all the great memories. So my challenge to you right now is to not focus on your ex-girlfriend. That’s not to say you cannot think about her. 

Of course, you’ll think about her. But IF you think about her, the breakup, and the relationship, what you SHOULD do is write down how all of it makes you feel. Now that the relationship is over, what does that tell you about yourself, your relationship with your ex-girlfriend, and how do you want to change things for yourself and your future relationships in the future, and so on. 

Breakups are opportunities for self-reflection and to make a positive change. Even the worst kind of breakup can bring something good into your life through self-reflection and personal growth that brings you closer to a better life, a better relationship, a better woman, and so on. 

You may be going crazy right now and you can’t see it yet, but what you’re going through at the moment will make you stronger, wiser, more resilient, and you will learn a lot about yourself and these lessons will help you change your life for the better. And to make the most out of your experience, don’t try to hold on to the relationship obsessively, but rather, obsess over how you can now move forward with strength, and how you can stop feeling as if your heart has been shattered into 1000 tiny pieces. 

It’s possible to put your life back together, even without your ex-girlfriend. And in time, you will see this clearly, and you will even enjoy your new growth journey. Ultimately, if an ex-girlfriend didn’t want you, for whatever reason, it’s an opportunity to rebuild your life, come out stronger, and find a better girlfriend who will forever want you. I’m sure you can’t believe it right now, but your ex-girlfriend leaving you is a sign that there are better things that are yet to come.

So don’t fight the breakup as much as you feel the urge to do so. Stay focused on yourself, on the lessons that you can take away from the relationship and the breakup, and try to move forward. Step by step. It doesn’t have to be at a fast pace. Just put one foot in front of the other and don’t stop moving forward.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for you this time.