How to move on from your ex gf who moved on already? It’s so hard when your ex-girlfriend already moved on from the relationship early on. I had a situation like this once, and it absolutely ruined me back then. I’m sure you must be going through similar emotions. Seeing her happy, living her life, while you are constantly in a state of anxiety and panic can be extremely rough. It actually causes even more panic, because while you are stuck and don’t know what to do, she just moves further away from you, making it even harder to cope with the breakup. So let’s talk about how to deal with it when your ex-girlfriend has basically moved on much faster than you thought she would but you’re still clinging on to her really hard.

Hey guys, welcome back to the Breakup Corner, I’m Andi Galster, and here I teach men how to move on from their ex-girlfriend. So, well, yea, breakups with women are a bit of ironic cruelty. The more an ex-girlfriend moves on quickly after a breakup, the harder it gets. This can spiral out of control really fast. I think a majority of men, at least with their first big breakup, don’t expect an ex-girlfriend to move on super fast. We tend to usually always project the way we feel about something onto other people, and of course, also on our ex. 

So when you look at your own feelings after the breakup, moving on and especially enjoying life or starting a new life are usually not things that come to your mind as the first thing. I think it’s the opposite. If you’re struggling to get over your ex-girlfriend, you cannot move on from her BECAUSE you don’t want to start a new life. You liked the way things were. You want to keep her in her life. The routines that you had, the love you shared, the intimacy, all of it were things that you really appreciated and loved deeply. 

I still remember it like it was yesterday… I had a breakup like this once, where my ex girlfriend was moving on really fast, and it felt as if my world was falling apart. Everything that I had based my life on was gone in an instant and I fought so hard mentally to get it back. Heartache is just terrible. Missing an ex-girlfriend who is moving on with her life can be so detrimental to your mental health, and maybe even your physical health. So the question is, how can you let go when she has already moved past the relationship but you’re barely holding on with your daily sanity, and you probably still miss her like crazy?

Well, the first thing to do for sure, is to no longer associate the post-breakup experience with your ex-girlfriend, in the sense of, the way she is moving on and how you are moving on are two completely different things. When you’re comparing yourself with how your ex-girlfriend is moving on from the relationship, you’re in a sense still treating her like your girlfriend, as in, you’re assuming that you are supposed to have the same experiences after the breakup, but unfortunately, that’s just never the case. A woman is different in how she experiences her emotion, and most importantly, the way she will be treated after a breakup will be vastly different from your experiences as well. So, your breakup experiences may have some overlap, but there are also big differences in the extremes.

And this is wherein the answer for moving on lies as well. Of course, now that you have broken up, your lives are completely separate again, and so you need to invest your time in new things that are solely dedicated towards yourself, your own growth, your own interests and your own happiness. For example, some people may pursue activities that an ex-girlfriend also used to do, like, let’s say going to Yoga classes because an ex used to do the same. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with going to yoga classes. Yoga can be extremely relaxing. But the question would rather be why you’d be doing yoga. Is it because it’s something that emotionally connects you with your ex-girlfriend? Or is it because you’ve been wanting to do yoga for years but never really took the time to get into it? 

So when you feel stuck, you’re often clinging on to the past with your ex and you want to repeat what you shared as a couple. And at the same time, you’re going crazy because she’s already moving on and she’s probably doing some of these things that you have begun to classify as “couple activities,” but of course, some of those were more her own activities and parts of her own identity, rather than yours. 

You have to do what she has probably already been doing for a while since the breakup: She’s moving on to do her own thing. She’s treating her past experiences with you as separate from her current life. That sounds really harsh and difficult to accept, but it’s the only way to stay sane and not miss an ex-girlfriend like crazy. We cannot really change that we still love an ex.

Frankly, perhaps your ex-girlfriend still loves you a lot. But despite this, she’s trying to put her old feelings aside, or rather, make room for new ones. And you need to do the same. Even if you still love her like a madman, you can’t change that. It’s impossible to just turn your feelings for somebody off, but we can at the very least try to find something else that we can also appreciate or even love, until the feelings for the one we love fades. 

It’s probably a good idea to do a pen and paper exercise of writing down what some things you could be doing with your life, and then try to identify things to do that aren’t related to your old life. For example, if you used to play a lot of tennis, what else can you do? If you’d often go to the swimming pool during summers, what else can you do instead during the summers? And of course, what are things that neither of you ever did, but that you could be doing to really turn your life around. Such as hitting the gym, or going to business and entrepreneurship meetups, and so on.

A breakup with an ex-girlfriend is really rough, but the silver lining is that there is a clean slate. That emptiness, where you don’t want to get rid of the old identity is extremely scary. But it can also be seen as an opportunity to detach yourself from the past that’s hurting you, and to try out brand new things that hopefully bring you renewed happiness, passion, excitement, and so on.

Your ex will continue to move on with her life and walk on a separate path than you are on. Or more accurately, she’s on the path that you’re not supposed to get on. You have to find your own path to follow. As scary as it is, that’s essentially how we end up in relationships in the first place. We have our own path, and then, we meet a woman who walks on a similar path. I know, right after a breakup, you don’t want to think about this because you’re not interested in dating any other woman… And you probably shouldn’t… But one of these days, it’ll happen again, and for this to happen, you have to be on your own path again, rather than chasing the old path that you walked on together, or chasing the new path she’s on.

Maybe you already started walking on that path, or perhaps you’ve still been standing still, waiting at the crossing where both of your paths diverge and you have to take the first step. Either way, you have no other choice but to walk on that path, and not question whether you should be going back to the crossroad and taking the other route. Your ex is not coming back, and you cannot do anything but keep walking and hope that along the way, you’re going to find something new and exciting on it that will make life a little bit easier and enjoyable.

I actually feel as if enjoying life has become somewhat of an art form. Even when you haven’t just had a breakup and struggle with being alone, being single and enjoying life without a woman is hard. Learning to be on your own, and just live for yourself, and maybe not even do something with another person together, but just going solo to the gym, to a shooting range, to a cooking class, or whatever it is that you find interesting — it’s quite intimidating, especially in your younger years. We naturally want to rely on companionship to fill our lives with interesting experiences.

But that’s ultimately the problem and challenge that you need to overcome to get over your ex-girlfriend. Your ex is probably doing a lot of activities with other people — men who are into her. Her friends who want her to go to a party. And so on. If you do it right, you don’t rely as much on others to be happy without her. That’s the one thing that women sometimes overdo after a breakup. If you can build up new self-reliance before you start to date around again, then you will lead yourself to a long-term, sustainable new happy life, and eventually, with that new-found stable happiness, you’ll become very attractive as a man. 

And eventually, you will find another woman because you have invested your time wisely into teaching yourself to be single and enjoying the process until you are ready to date again.

So if you would like to move on from your ex-girlfriend, start by properly de-associating from her, accept that you have to walk two separate paths, and identify what it is that you want to experience on your own path. And then pursue that. Even if that path may be long, and at times it feels like you’re walking through a dark alley, all alone, not sure if it’s the right way to go, the longer you keep on walking and learn to travel alone, and find some great things to experience on the way, the easier it will be to get over the heartbreak and find a new life to enjoy.

And some time in the future, you’ll find a new kind of destination — probably another woman. So keep on going forward until you reach that day, and forget to try and enjoy that process. You should see your new life as an opportunity to re-establish your happiness and feel good about the things you’re up to, rather than seeing all of it as one more moment of torture without your ex. I know, in the beginning that is extremely difficult, but I know that in time, you’ll get better at it.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for you this time.